Have you been offended? How to Deal With Offenses

“Oh, Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.”   Psalm 34:3

dealing with offenseHave you noticed the increase in the opportunities to be offended?  Even after 25 years of marriage to my husband, I sometimes get offended by what he says.  As a wife, I may know he doesn’t mean something the way I took it, but I still feel a huge pull to be offended.

I believe in the day we are living, the days prior to the return of the Lord, there will be a greater pull than ever before to be offended.  Jesus taught us in Mathew 18:7 that offenses will surely come.  In Mathew 24, when the disciples asked Jesus what the signs of His return would be, He said in verse 10, “And then shall many be offended…”

So we should not be surprised when we feel the pull to be offended. The question is: how fast do you move past an offense?  Jesus made it possible for us to be able to move past offenses very quickly.

I must constantly remind myself that we are in “the time,” the days before Jesus returns.  Paul said in 2 Thessalonians 2:3, that there would be a great falling away in these days.  I believe the falling away is due to being offended. If your love waxes cold according to Mathew 24, you will fall away.

I know when I am offended, I must quickly forgive.  Forgiveness is the only answer!  It is the way of escape! The quicker I forgive, the quicker I come back into my right mind.  When I am offended my soul is in control.  When I forgive, my spirit rises up above my soul and takes back over.

I have learned that when I am offended everything is distorted and even my emotions become out of control. When I am offended at a person I will see them in a distorted way, bigger than they really are.  I will become overly focused on them. They become the center of attention and all I talk about for days.  Every conversation even goes back somehow to what offended me.

The more we put our focus on those who offended us, the more magnified they become.  This could cause our heart to wax cold and may lead us to sin against God.  He is the only one we are to magnify.  When we focus on others and what they did to offend us, we make them bigger than God.

 Oh, Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. (Psalm 34:3)

So right now press the minimize button and minimize the person who has offended you.  Bring them down to the right size and forgive them.  Remember, if it were not for the grace of God you might have done the very same thing.

Forgiveness: Clean Out Your Filing Cabinet

“Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

No matter who you are or how long you have been a Christian, you will still have times when you get hurt and offended.  As a Christian, the goal is to learn how to deal with hurts properly.

Learning to respond instead of reacting is the key.  If you have been hurt in the same way before, then it will be easier to take on the offense and react.  The reaction will be based on a combination of the present hurt and the past hurts as well.  If you have learned to forgive when hurtful things happen instead of being offended, you will be able to respond correctly.  Forgiveness therefore, must become a way of life in order to be able to respond in a Christ-like manner no matter what the situation is.

The problem is that your soul has a filing cabinet where past hurts and offenses are stored that have not been dealt with properly. This is why when someone does something that hurts you; you will suddenly remember how many times they have done the same thing before.

The only way to be free from past hurts is to forgive. Ask the Lord to help you forgive. Forgiveness is releasing the person who hurt you, and releasing your right to hold the offense against them any longer. Forgiveness is not saying that what they did was not wrong; forgiveness is releasing them to God. You will not be free from the pain caused by the offense until you release the offender. Once you forgive them, your filing cabinet will be cleaned out and you can begin to deal with hurts on a daily basis instead of letting things pile up.

Forgiveness is releasing our right to demand payment for sins against us by surrendering to God and letting Him be the judge and jury.