Learning to Trust Again
“He heals the brokenhearted and bindeth up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3
Have you ever trusted someone to love you that did not know how to love? Or have you ever loved someone that did not know how to receive your love? In both cases you will experience rejection. This type of rejection is very painful especially when it comes from someone whom you really trust. The pain from being hurt by someone you trust is much greater than being hurt by a casual friend. It takes years to build trust, but it only takes a moment of rejection to tear down trust. This is because when you trust someone, you open your heart up to them. When they reject you, the natural tendency is to close your heart to them in order to avoid being hurt again. The pain that comes from rejection creates a big wound that must be healed in order to be able to trust that person again.
Jesus made complete provision for our physical and emotional healing. But many people are stuck, “locked in time” desperately needing to be set free from the pain of the past. One way many people try to get rid of pain is to just forget what happened and forget about the person who hurt them. You can tear that person out of your address book and for a while you will be able to forget what happened but if healing did not occur the pain is still there. The pain that lingers from the past keeps you tied to the past. Isaiah, the prophet, said in Isaiah 1:4-6 that those people who have not been healed will go backwards. Like taking one step forward and then two steps backward, you aren’t getting anywhere.
Another way many people deal with pain is to run from it or pretend it really isn’t there. Pain is like a shadow you look around and it is still there no matter how fast you run. That is why so many people are walking around with the shadow of the past still on them. Pain must be faced and dealt with in order for it to be put away. Instead of running from pain, stop, turn around and face it. Pain must be faced to be healed. You may be one who has received some healing, but the pain still remains. Jeremiah 6:14 also says that when a person has only been healed slightly, they say peace, peace, but when there is no peace. The amount of peace you are having can be a good indicator of how much healing you have received. Once you are healed and the pain is gone you will be ale to hold your heart open again and trust. Healing produces trust in you. If the person that hurt you has proven over and over to not be trustworthy, suggest they also receive healing. Healing produces trustworthiness in them. Then wait on the Lord to give you peace.
The following steps can be taken to work through healing. These steps will need to be repeated out loud or written down several times during the healing process. You will experience the peace of the Lord as you go through this process. Now is the time for healing!
1. Step one for healing is to face it.
Who hurt you? _________
Who left you? __________
Who did not receive you? __________
Who refused to love you? ___________
2. Step two for healing is to face what you lost.
Did you loose a good friend?
Did you loose a husband?
Did you loose a wife?
Fill in the blank, I lost _________.
3. Step three for healing is to accept that the thing you lost is gone.
Make a list and write down all that you have lost.
I accept the fact that ____________is gone.
4. Step four for healing is to acknowledge to the Lord that you have been hurt and angry.
Lord, I have been angry at __________ for ___________.
I ask you to forgive me, and cleanse my heart of this anger.
5. Step five for healing is to release what you have lost.
Lord, I ask for your help to be set free from this pain. Lord by myself I can not accept the losses. I ask for your help to accept what I have lost. I accept the reality that _________ is gone; and I release (person or thing).
6. Step six for healing is to forgive the person.
Lord, I choose to forgive __________ for hurting me. They owe me nothing.
7. Step seven for healing.
My hope is in You, Lord. I know You are the one that gives life. Not the person or the things I have lost.
8. Step eight for healing is to choose life.
Lord, I choose Life; help me to continue looking forward towards the life you have given me.