What is Perfect Love?

“Perfect love casts out all fear, for fear hath torment. And he that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:18

Perfect LoveWe are born with a need for love and fear is waiting at the door when we don’t receive it.  The first time we are touched and held as an infant, the need for love is met, but only for a moment.  As an infant, the ability to hold on to love has not been established.  The ability to hold on when someone says they are holding you is what we call “trust”.

Just as a baby will continue to cry until he/she learns how to trust, we as adults will continue to cry and complain until we mature and learn to trust God completely.

We first learn to trust through loving, nurturing parents.  We learn that we can trust them to return, even when they are away for a day.  Once trust has been established, they can be away for longer periods of time and we still feel secure and loved.  Their continual flow of love keeps our hearts soft.  A lack of love due to neglect, rejection or abuse is painful and causes emotions to shut down, so the heart begins to harden.

Each time pain is felt, a stone is formed in the heart.  After a period of time, the stones form a wall around the heart for protection against further pain.  A person with a stony heart has a difficult time receiving love from God or others.  The very thing that is needed is blocked out.

We all have areas of our heart that are stony due to the fact that we all have been hurt when love did not flow properly from our parents.  They could only give what they received from their parents.  You cannot drink water from an empty cup.

Women, did you have long periods of time when your father wasn’t in your life?  You may have built a wall around your heart making it difficult to trust and receive love from your husband.  Men, did you have a long period of time when you were not receiving nurturing from your mother?  You may experience difficulty trusting and receiving love from your wife.

Ask God for His perfect love to fill you; for God is the only one who has perfect love, (I John 4:18).

Imperfect love hurts; perfect love heals.

Written by Denise Boggs.

Our Greatest Need

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believed in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Our greatest need is love, and the greatest gift is love.   Everyone in the entire world needs the gift of love, but it is not the world’s kind of love- it is God’s kind of love!

God’s love is unconditional, which means we do not have to do anything to earn it or deserve it.  We just receive it.  Love that must be earned is conditional love.  When certain conditions or requirements must be met for love to be expressed, it is harmful and the relationship will not grow.

People who have never received the gift of unconditional love have come to believe they must work hard to earn it.  Their life is full of striving, trying to be good enough or do enough just to be loved and accepted.  They become people-pleasers, and everything they do is out of a need to feel loved, even if it is only a drop.

This is not God’s plan for your life.

Spend time with Him daily, waiting before Him until you feel saturated with His presence and filled with His love.  As you begin to sense His Love, you will feel compelled to share it with others.

Our greatest need is love, and God has provided for our need.

Written by Denise Boggs.